26 weeks

And now you're as long as "an English hothouse cucumber." Why not a French one? Or a Spanish one? I have no idea--apparently those English ones are just the right size!

26 weeks. 14 to go. 10 more weeks of work for me.

Yeah, I am now starting to count down the weeks until my maternity leave. My other pregnant co-worker went on leave on Friday... and all I could think was, "Me next!" I love my job, I really do--but lately it has been stressful. And I've been finding myself incredibly distracted by thoughts of, well, you.

This week has been an interesting one. I thoroughly enjoyed having 2 full days to myself, despite missing Daddy and Bebe terribly and suffering through some rather uncomfortable heat and traffic... but I wonder if going away made things worse when returning to work and life. I started not to feel well on Sunday evening, and although I'm typing this feeling better than I did then, I don't feel 100% better. I can't even explain what's going on--just that I feel very spacey and lethargic. A trip to the doctor yielded me no answers and so I am just trying to take it easy and have faith that all will be OK.

Well, notice I said trying to take it easy. Do you know what I did for an hour and a half last night? I built a dresser. Okay, technically, half of a dresser... I built the frame, and tonight I will build the drawers. And then when it is assembled, I will start filling it--half with your things and half with Bebe's. I know you're probably wondering, "Why not just have daddy build it?" You'll learn when you're older, though, that Daddy is Mr. Touch-It-And-Break-It, and I thoroughly enjoy being Mrs. Fix-It.

14 more weeks to go... 3 months and 1 week... unbelievable.

FINALLY!

Finally I uploaded and edited my belly pictures! I've stuck them in where the belong. The only bummer is that the font isn't consistent with the first 19 weeks, because of our computer crash (we lost the font file). Oh well, maybe I'll go back and edit those some time!

25 week belly picture

25 weeks

What's that? A rutabaga. Don't ask me anything about them, because I've never eaten one or seen one in my life, but apparently you weigh about the same as the average one (about 1.5 pounds).

You and I are off on an adventure this weekend!
OK, not really an adventure, but you might notice that things will be a LITTLE quieter and probably A LOT warmer.

I'm whisking you away for a weekend--just you and me, kid--so I can relax and try to decompress a bit. Between hormones and the normal goings-on of life I've just been very, very... "testy." And I'm hoping that a weekend to refocus will help me do just that. So we're off to Lake Elsinore--a place I've never been nor heard much about--for the sole reason of getting away for a while!

Bad Mommy!

I haven't been updating. Between our crashed computer, an overwhelming amount of work at work, and trying to find time to get ready for YOU, I have neglected blogging. I'm sorry! But I promise I'm going to try harder!

24 week belly picture

24 weeks

Today is sometimes referred to as V-Day. I'm not a fan of the term (it's short for "viability day")... yes, at 24 weeks you have a better chance of survival outside of my womb than you did at 23 weeks, but still... plenty of babies have been born at 24 or 25 or even more weeks and don't make it. So just forget about this V-Day nonsense and keep cooking in there, okay?

This morning at breakfast Bebe asked me how big you were now. I told her you were as long as an ear of corn... and that prompted her to run to the refrigerator and grab an ear of corn and say, "This big?!" Then she went off to find Daddy and told him, "Daddy, Dois is this big now!!"

On Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment. We listened to your heartbeat and talked about how much I've been feeling you move. Just as I thought, you're currently transverse (laying on your side instead of head down or feet down). It's no big deal, as Bebe was that way until 32 weeks... but it does make for some discomfort (especially when I fall into a deep sleep... if I sleep more than a few hours on the same side, the pressure from your head or feet makes me sore inside).

I am so excited about your arrival--I think I am already nesting! This past weekend I pulled things out of what will be your closet and started sorting clothes by size and taking an inventory of what we have and what we still need. It was fun looking through everything--and marveling once again at how tiny all the clothes and diapers are!

Saturday Daddy has to take the computer back in for another fixing, and then we should be DONE and I can get the pictures uploaded to show how much my belly has grown--it's amazing!

23 week belly picture

Um, yeah, it's easy to see you're transverse now, huh?

23 weeks

This last week, I will admit, has been a rough one. I've had a terrible time sleeping (just can't get comfortable, even with a body pillow), I've had a lot of heartburn/acid reflux, and I've had a lot of lower back aches and pains.

It got to the point where I said to your Daddy the other day, "I don't know how I will do 18 more weeks of this!"

I have not complained much AT ALL this pregnancy. I realize how very blessed I am to be carrying you inside of me, and so I have made it a point not to complain. But after a night of sleep that consisted of only 3 hours, I complained.

One day at a time, that's how I'll be taking it. One day at a time until you're here. I don't want you here now, or anytime soon... so I'll suffer while you're still "cooking"!

I love you so much.

(And hopefully will be able to post my belly pictures this weekend when we get our computer back!)

22 week belly picture

22 weeks

Well, we survived our trip to see family and friends, with only a little bit of nausea/vertigo to deal with. Not bad! The whole time we were there, Bebe kept telling everyone about how she was going to be a big sister, how she thinks you're "a boy or a girl" (although more often than not she declared you are a boy), how she "wants one of each" (when asked if she wants a brother or a sister), etc. It was insanely cute!

It was great to go away for a few days, but it was hard to come home to colder temperatures.

I know I'm still lagging in posting my belly pictures--our hard drive completely crashed and needs to be reformatted. I spent the last 2 days backing up every single photo file we have... it took forever! Hopefully tomorrow it will finally be fixed and I can update.

You're wiggling inside of me every day now, I absolutely love feeling you move! And I haven't been too uncomfortable (yet) but last night I had my first charley horses--one in each calf at the same time! I remember them from being pregnant with Bebe.... good thing I remembered how to stop them as soon as they started! I can't believe we're getting closer and closer to your arrival... I am so excited!

21 week belly picture

I definitely rounded out a bit here!!

21 weeks

Well, here we are a week later and I still haven't posted my belly picture from last week! We have been having some computer problems at home, and so I am not able to edit and post that picture just yet. But it's taken, I promise!

As I type this, you are jumping around inside of me. Can I tell you how much I love feeling you move?? It is just so incredibly amazing! And now, when I lay down on my back, I can sometimes SEE my stomach move as you kick. Too cool!

Tomorrow we head to NY for a long weekend to visit family--everyone is excited to see me (with you inside of me!), and we are very excited to see everyone as well. I'm not looking forward to the flights to and from there, but I did them at 19 weeks with your big sister and survived, so I'm not too worried, I guess.

It's hard to believe we've reached a point where there's LESS time until your birth than you have been inside of me... 21 down, 19 to go!

20 week belly picture

20 weeks

Today we've hit many milestones--we are halfway there!

From now on, the pictures will not correlate to your overall size, but your LENGTH as you grow over the next 20 weeks.

WOW. It's hard to believe that here we are! On Tuesday I saw the doctor and heard your heartbeat again... all is well, although it seems Mommy needs to lay off the junk food a bit. ;-)

Yesterday we had a very important ultrasound to see you and check all your bones and organs to make sure everything looks okay and you're growing well. You're measuring 2 days behind now, but that's no big deal... and you weigh about 11 ounces! WOW... that's not even 1 pound. I just can't imagine!

You were sleepy, so you weren't wiggling as much as I feel you wiggling right now, but we did see you move a little bit and open and close your mouth. The funniest thing was that you were sleeping with your hands near your head/face just like your big sister did (and still does!). We had the tech print us some pictures of that so we could show her. We also got a picture of your hand and the tech wrote, "Hi sister!!" on it. Bebe was SO excited to see that!

And now it's a bit sad for me to know that we won't "see" you again until you're born, unless there are any complications or concerns. We did get a peek at your big sister at 30 weeks because I was measuring small, but I don't see that happening this time around.

Love you!

19 week belly picture

I look like I shrunk in this one! Maybe I just didn't have as big of a dinner?

19 weeks

19 down and 21 to go--almost halfway there!

The highlight of this week was definitely on Tuesday night when Daddy got to feel you kick for the first time! He was so excited to feel you move, and we just snuggled for a while after.

We also spent some time on Monday registering. As I mentioned, Grandma had been pestering me and I caved... I've decided it's nice to have a list (besides the tattered piece of paper that I carry in my purse) to look at and see what I need/want. Plus, I hear they send you coupons for purchasing off your registry. I'll take discounts!

Next week sometime (or possibly early the following week) will be the "big ultrasound"--it's when they measure all of your body parts and make sure everything is working OK. It's also when people find out if they're having a boy or a girl. I admit, I want to know, but when I told Daddy I was wavering, he declared that HE doesn't want to know (it's funny, early on he was the one who wanted to know and I didn't)... so I guess that is that--he made the choice easy for me! Still, I am looking forward to seeing you and how big you've gotten!

18 week belly picture

Growing, growing, growing!

Yesterday Bebe felt you kick for the first time. She thought it was SO COOL. She was giggling when she felt you move. And then she was bragging to Daddy about how SHE got to feel you first. I think he was a little jealous!

5 months from yesterday is your due date. How time is flying!

18 weeks

Hehe... you're the size of one of the foods that I'm craving most right now. Darn, now I want peppers!

Well, here we are at 18 weeks... half-way to a full-term baby!

I have to admit, I've started shopping for you... I bought a swing at a garage sale on Saturday. I have bought almost all the cloth diapers we'll need for your first month or two of life. Today we bought your crib (we would have waited, but we caught an awesome deal on Amazon and couldn't resist!). Your grandmothers have both bought things for you (clothes, I think). And I caved and started an Amazon wishlist because Grandma asked me to. Actually, she asked me to start a registry at Babies R Us but I haven't gotten to it yet. That involves going into that store, and I'm not a HUGE fan... I want to put the little things on it from there, though--like bottles, burp cloths, etc. Grandma thinks when we visit them this month that people will want to buy stuff for us. I'm not so sure, but for Grandma's sake, I am following directions like a good girl. :)

Between the reality of baby things filling our house and the reality of feeling you kicking me (I don't feel it all day, but at least once a day usually), I just can't believe it all still. I am so, so, so incredibly blessed and lucky that you're coming to join our family.

17 weeks belly picture

No doubt about it... you're in there! And today I got to feel the first inside/outside kicks--kicks so strong I could feel them with a hand on my abdomen (so I could feel them inside of me and outside of me). So exciting!!

17 weeks

I did NOT forget that I changed weeks today, but for some reason I never got the weekly e-mail I get about this week in pregnancy. Bummer! I do know, though, that these next few weeks are MAJOR in terms of your growth and development--you'll double in size over the next few weeks!

Speaking of doubling in size... I have definitely grown this week. BUT I go through moments of looking bloated and moments of looking deflated. I think I'll be more content once I look pregnant ALL the time. You're still hanging out low and now I notice you are somewhat to my left side... when I look in the mirror straight ahead, I have a different curve to my left side than I do to my right, and I feel "fuller" there. I also don't feel comfortable sleeping on my left side AT ALL... I guess my mind is telling me to give you some space!!

I'm enjoying the moments I get when I listen to your heart beating. I don't listen every single day, but when I do, just hearing your thump-thump-thump relaxes me so much!

I've also started to buy things for you. I tend to be a bargain shopper, so if something is on clearance or there's a good sale, I'll grab it. So far it's been just little things (a navy blue hoodie for $2, an organic sweater-knit blanket for $8, etc.) but they're things you'll need! I've also started making lists of what we'll need for you.

Oh I am so excited!

16 weeks belly picture

I think this time I look bigger! I think I'm going to post the weeks side-by-side to see better.

16 weeks!

Growing, growing, growing... you're growing, growing, growing! 12 weeks (3 months) have passed since we found out we were expecting you. It's been quite a roller coaster lately, but I am SO happy that you're here and still with us. I think I'm starting to feel you move more, although it's very subtle. You're still down very low, just above my pubic bone, which is why I'm not "showing" much yet. Hmmm.... carrying low, symptoms completely different from when I was pregnant with your big sister, heartrate of 144, according to old wives tales, all those things mean "boy." But the Chinese gender chart (which was right for Bebe) says "girl." I guess we will see!

The other day Bebe asked me if the next time we get pictures of you, the doctor can tell us if you're a brother or a sister. I had to explain to her that we want to wait and have a surprise! I think that is tough for her, but we will make it fun--I'm thinking about having her choose a "boy" outfit and a "girl" outfit for when you are born, so that you can wear home whatever she has chosen. I know she'll love that!

We are all so anxiously waiting for you. We love you so much.

Music to my ears!

Despite seeing you moving and hearing your heartbeat last Thursday, I've still been a bit worried about you. My spotting comes and goes, and although I'm feeling more at ease, I still get nervous. So I decided to invest in a home doppler so I could check in on you every now and then. It came today and I was like a kid at Christmas--I couldn't wait to open it and try it!! It took me some time to find your heartbeat, but when I did, I was in heaven! Daddy listened to it, and your big sister listened to it, too (she was so silly--dancing around like it was rock music or something). It was great.

Tonight, while Daddy is at work and after I put Bebe to bed, I pulled it out again and lay on our bed for 30 minutes just listening to the whoosh-woosh-woosh of your heart and talking to you.

I'm seriously on cloud nine!

15 weeks belly picture

There it is! I still don't look pregnant, because you're pretty low still (just above my pubic bone), but I know you're in there! It's just hard telling people how far along I am and them saying, "But you don't even LOOK pregnant!"

15 weeks

I know that I'm a day late writing this, but yesterday was a whirlwind of a day! I had a very full day at work, followed by a doctor's appointment. I was so anxious--I didn't know if I was going to get good news or bad news! When the doctor walked in, she said, "How are you feeling?" I said, "Nervous." She asked why, and I told her about the spotting I had had. So she said, "Let's take a look." and as soon as she put the ultrasound wand on my abdomen, we saw you moving around. I had tears in my eyes--I've never been so relieved! You had your legs crossed (making sure I wouldn't be tempted to ask if you were a boy or a girl, huh?!), and your arms were wiggling. You're measuring a little small now (4 days behind, no big deal), but I think her measurements were off because your legs were crossed. I also heard your heartbeat at a strong 144 bpm. I also got confirmation that the little "bubbles" and "flutters" I feel are in fact YOU!

I can not describe how I felt last night--like I was floating on air. I went in prepared for the worst, and got the best. Praise God!

Then I went home and shared the news with a lot more of my family and friends. Everyone is so excited about your coming--but Daddy, Bebe, and I are the most!!

14 weeks belly picture

Well, here it is! It looks like I shrunk a tad. :-( But I think it's because I took my 13-week belly picture right after dinner. This time I had time to digest.

I confess, I am addicted...

...to finding bargains on cloth diapers and snatching them up!

I am now the proud owner of 6 sized small Fuzzi Bunz diapers! 3 yellow, 1 red, 1 sage, and 1 orange. OMG they are tiny and CUTE!!

14 weeks

So now here we are, Dois, at 14 weeks. This week has been a roller coaster, to say the least... and the roller coaster is continuing, unfortunately. How I wish I could transport myself back to a week ago, when I was on a "high" from telling everyone about you, seeing my belly grow, and starting to imagine our lives with you in the picture.

But now here I sit, just wonder if you're really the size of a lemon in there. Are you still growing? Are you well? I am doing everything in my power to take good care of you, and it's very hard for me to accept that no matter how hard I try, I'm not really the one in control.

I tried with no luck to make my appointment for next week to be sooner... so it will be a long week ahead. I'm hoping and praying that I'll get the chance to post a "15 weeks" post.

I'm never going to take you for granted, Little One. Never. Mommy loves you so much (and Daddy and your big sister do, too!).

Is this what relief is supposed to feel like??

I should be relieved--I haven't seen any more blood, I don't have a UTI. We may never know what caused it the other day... I'm on "pelvic rest" until my next appointment on the 10th, but otherwise my doctor and nurses see no reason for concern. I guess I just need to convince myself of that.

Today on one of the discussion boards I read, someone asked, "So when do you really feel 'safe'?" and my answer was a lot different today than it was on, say, Sunday. I think I'll feel 'safe' when you're here, in my arms, and then even then a whole new bunch of worries will surface. Until 24 weeks (the "age of viability") I'll be worried about a miscarriage... after that, I'll be worried about having a preemie.

I have no idea why things are so different this time around than when I was pregnant with your sister. Maybe I was just so blissfully naive then.

Now the countdown begins until I get to see you and hear your heartbeat again... 8 more days!

Hang in there, baby...

This morning we had a bit of a scare--no pregnant woman ever wants to see blood during her pregnancy... especially blood that is coming from her! Whatever caused it may never be known, as it has yet to reappear. Just for safety's sake, though, I'll be going in for a check-up tomorrow to make sure everything is OK. I'm pretty confident that it is, but the peace of mind I'll get from hearing it will be helpful. And the bonus? I might get to see you again!

So until tomorrow, little one, hang in there, OK? We love you so much... everyone is waiting and so excited for your arrival... but not for at least 23 more weeks!!

Finally, a belly picture!!

I took a picture of my belly at 4 weeks and 7 weeks just for reference, but they're nothing special to share. But this past week I've "popped" and so I felt it warranted the beginning of belly pictures. Instead of a cute "bump" I've got an all-around belly going on, just like I did with your big sister. Now that I'm actually showing, I plan to take a photo weekly so that I can document my growth with you!

13 weeks

In just a matter of days, I will be 1/3 through my pregnancy. I can hardly believe it!

The word is getting out now, that we're patiently waiting for your arrival. You big sister knows, Grandma and Papa know, your uncles know, several of my friends know, my boss knows, my coworkers know... your Vo and Tio and Tia will find out on Sunday...

It's so exciting to finally be able to talk about you with other people!

I'm not digging the photo of the shrimp above, as I'm allergic to seafood and the sight and smell of shrimp has always made me gag... but for your sake, I will leave it up. (See what a good mom I am to sacrifice my own comfort for you? Hahaha.)

Big Sister Day

On Sunday we had the much-anticipated "Big Sister Day" for your big sister, Bebe. We went to church first thing in the morning, then when we got home I cooked chocolate chip pancakes and Canadian bacon (at her request) and potatoes O'Brien (at Daddy's request) for a delicious brunch. Then, after a little bit of relaxing (we were so full!), we drove to the beach--only to get there and discover it was windy and cold. Your big sister took off for the water, touched her toes in for a second, came back to the sand and started to dig, and then declared it was TOO COLD and wanted to go home. So we did! After all, it was her day! When we got home, she opted for the swimming pool instead. Daddy took her, while I stayed home and rested--I'm not much of a swimming pool person. Then I made a special dinner for us all (spaghetti and meatballs, again, her request!).

When dinner was over with, we gave her two presents--one was a "Big Sister" shirt and the other was the book I'm Going To Be A Big Sister. She didn't catch on right away, and then when I told her she was going to be a big sister, she was like, "Now? Today?"

What really made it real for her was when I showed her the ultrasound photo of you. THEN she understood, although she's a bit confused that she doesn't see me "fat yet."

After gift-giving we called your Grandma and Papa on the computer to tell them. Grandma understood right away when your big sister showed off her shirt, but Papa's reaction was a little bit delayed. It was funny!

Then we snuggled on the couch and watched Toy Story 2, and right before bed we read her her new book.

She told everyone at school yesterday about you--and she is so very excited! I can't wait for you to meet her. I know you'll love her as much as we do.

12 weeks

It's hard to believe that my first trimester is coming to an end soon. Only 10 more days left of it! Eight weeks ago today I found out that you'd be joining our family, and some days I still have a hard time believing it. Sure, I've got symptoms (waking up to pee at night, feeling hungry ALL THE TIME, etc.) but the reality hasn't sunk in quite yet. I'm still wearing my regular clothes (although maternity pants do feel more comfortable, I feel like I don't need them yet)... I'm still going about my daily life just like anything else.

I was telling your daddy the other day that I think the reason why this pregnancy feels so much different, and why it feels so unreal still, is because I'm in such a different place now than I was 6 years ago when I was pregnant with your big sister. I was only working part-time, I had a lot of idle time/down time when your daddy was at work or at school, I didn't go out much... and so I had a lot of time to talk to her, think about her arrival, obsess about parenthood, worry, etc. But this time around, I've got so much on my plate--working full-time, taking care of your sister, the normal housework, plus our big vacation to Brazil and then our move made time pass by quickly.

But there's also another reason why this all feels so unreal still--and that's because I was starting to believe that I would never, ever have another child. You're a dream come true, really. One that I'm so lucky to have.

Nameless.

By this point in my pregnancy with your big sister, Daddy and I had chosen a boy name and a girl name for her. Now, I know that no two pregnancies are identical, but I was hoping that by this point in time we would have names chosen for you as well. I feel like having names for your sister helped me bond with her, and although I DO feel connected with you, I wonder if I would feel more bonded if I knew you had a name... even if it will still be 28 weeks or so until we find out which name will be yours.

With your big sister, though, the first girl name out of my mouth Daddy loved and the first boy name out of my mouth Daddy loved. It was easy! At least I can say the same about choosing a boy name this time around--the first name I said, Daddy loved. So I guess you're not COMPLETELY nameless... but I would feel much more settled if we had a girl name chosen as well.

Daddy told me to give him a list of 10 girl names I liked and he would choose from them what he liked... well, he narrowed it down to two... but the two he narrowed it down to are ones I LIKE but don't LOVE. So I'm continuing on my quest to find the "right" name... and it is driving me crazy! Daddy says we have time... I KNOW we have time! But the longer we go without a girl's name, the more tempted I am to find out if you're a boy or a girl when my 20 week ultrasound comes around... because maybe all this worry is for nothing!

I've actually gotten to the point where I've requested a baby name book from the library. I used to laugh at people who used those things. I figured baby names were just innate... but I guess not anymore!

I'm content with "Dois" for now, but hopefully we will choose something soon, so I can feel a more settled.

Music of my heart

I've always loved music. It "speaks" to me and my emotions in so many different ways. When I was pregnant with your big sister, whenever I thought about parenthood, the words of the song "The Man Who Would Be Santa" by Vertical Horizon always came to mind: All I want is for you to have, a life you love and live. Take from me all I have to give, 'cause you are in my heart.

As for you, right now Michael Buble's latest song, "Haven't Met You Yet" is being overplayed on the radio. I'm not a big fan of him or the song, but there's one line than makes me think of you every time that I hear it: I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get-- I just haven't met you yet.

I can't wait to meet you, but I will wait patiently, as you grow and grow and grow.

11 weeks

I found new "comparison" photos that I like so much better, so I switched them all out in old posts and will continue to use these from now on.

Look how big you've gotten! From the teeny tiny poppy seed 7 weeks ago (that was so tiny compared to a quarter that they didn't even show the whole quarter) to now the size of a fig! (Your daddy, by the way, LOVES figs. But not as much as he loves you!)

When you were measured on the ultrasound it said that you were 4.19cm from the top of your head to your butt. I took out a ruler yesterday and saw that that's about the size of my pinkie finger! Still so tiny, with a long way to go, but growing quickly!

Now that I've seen you, it's hard not to tell the whole world about you! We're patiently waiting as we plan a "big sister day" for your sister next weekend, and then once SHE knows we will tell everyone else.

I love you!

Well, there you have it...

This morning was a rather LONG and drawn out morning... we were up early and couldn't get back to sleep, we were trying to keep busy as we anxiously awaited seeing you... we arrived at the doctor's office 15 minutes in advance (as we were told), only to discover my doctor was with another patient having an emergency C-section. We waited a very LONG one hour and 15 minutes for her to arrive! During that time I made some observations:

1) The picture on the ceiling in the ultrasound room is the same one that was there when I was pregnant with your big sister 6 years ago.
2) Standing on a scale causes me to break out in a sweat, even when I know my weight is OK.
3) Paper gowns are not fun. Ever.

Your daddy and I talked a lot. About babies, about plans after you arrive, about what we'll do differently, etc. It was nice to have that uninterrupted time, honestly.

And then finally, the doctor arrived! And after a hello and a brief sentence or two, there you were on the screen in front of us! We got to see you AND to hear your heart beating. Your daddy kissed me on the forehead and had tears in his eyes. It was such a great moment.

You are already competing with your sister, it seems--she was always a little on the small size when it came to measurements. You, however, are a little on the big side. You are measuring 5 days ahead! Daddy was so cute, he kept asking the doctor, "Is that OK? It doesn't mean problems? Is it normal?"

For me, I take it as a good sign... it tells me that my restricted diet (which I've been worried might affect you) isn't hurting you one bit! I also gained some weight, and that (to me) is a positive sign.

I went to work right after... and wound up being an hour later than planned. So I wound up telling my "big boss" about your coming arrival. She is excited, and congratulated me--our department has been VERY busy this year, with 2 weddings and 3 babies (well, 2--including you--have yet to be born)! I had planned to wait to tell her, but I just felt so guilty for coming in so late. Of course it will still be a little bit longer before I tell my supervisor and everyone else.

And now we are planning a "Big Sister Day" for your big sister. She doesn't quite know that, though--we're going to do whatever she wants, all day on the 23rd, and at the end of the day we'll give her some big sister gifts and tell her about you. That's what I'm looking forward to next!

I love you so much already, Dois. I'm sure you know that, as I tell you constantly. But I just want to say it every time I think it.

10 weeks

Yay! It's MAY! The first day of May, all I could think was, "We get to see Dois this month!" and now here we are at 10 WEEKS! In just 5 days, your daddy and I will finally get a peek at you. We are so excited!

From everything I've read, the next 3 weeks of your life are filled with many, many new changes and developments! Your vital organs are going to begin working in sync with each other, your fingernails and "peach fuzz" will begin to appear, and your arms and legs will become bendable. Just reading about these things blows me away... how wonderful and truly amazing God is. How something... someONE... comes from two things that are so small you need a microscope to see them!

I am so, so blessed to be carrying you... to be your protector and your guardian as you prepare to enter this world. I promise to take good care of you, always.

9 weeks

You're growing bigger and bigger every single day!

It's hard for me to believe that 5 weeks have passed since I found out you'd be joining our family! And at the same time it feels like it has been SO LONG since I've known because I am still waiting (im)patiently for my first appointment on May 11th. Only 12 more days!

I broke out the adjustable-waist jeans today. I don't really NEED them very badly at the moment, but they are SO much more comfortable than my current jeans right now! I think with your sister I was around 10 weeks when I bought my first pair of maternity pants... and I've heard that after your first child you "pop" faster. I had to make sure to wear a longer top, though, because they definitely look like maternity jeans... and I haven't told anyone about you yet! In due time...

I am sorry I haven't been writing to you as much as I want to. I think of you always, but life has been busy as we get ready for our move. We got in to see our new place this past weekend, and it made me all the more excited about your arrival! Seeing the room that you'll share with us, and the room that will eventually be yours, and imagining how life will be when you arrive... It's all overwhelming but completely exciting!

Boy, you sure are a hungry baby!

Yesterday Daddy and I enjoyed a very full, very delicious lunch... and I also had a rather sizable dinner... so do you know how surprised I was to wake up at 2:30 this morning, not to pee, but to EAT?! My stomach was growling so loudly that there was NO way I was sleeping until I ate... so I satisfied you with two pear cups (the first things I spotted when I walked into the kitchen!) and went right back to bed.

That's OK, I'll take being hungry over nausea any day! It's a sure sign that you're growing in there.

Only 15 more days until we get to see you!

Switching things up a bit...

So... what are you going to do differently this time around?

Only a select few people know about you right now, and the majority of the select few have asked me this very question. To which I've replied, "Good question!" I think I learned a lot from your big sister about what items are absolutely essential and which ones are totally impractical. But in terms of the "big stuff" we've (OK "I've" but Daddy knows I'm the one who researches baby gear and analyzes costs and all that fun stuff, so he usually goes along with it) decided to only do a few things differently:

1) We plan to sidecar your crib to our bed, so you're within arms' reach all night long. With Bebe, we had her crib near us in the same room, but not set up as a sidecar. And more often than not, she wound up sleeping with us. By having your crib sidecarred, it will give you your own safe space and make sure there's enough room in the bed for your Daddy and I (and occasionally, Bebe).

2) I'll be investing in a better breastpump, to build a breastmilk stash. I only had a manual pump with Bebe, and because of that I never had much of a freezer stash. Sometimes I had 4-8oz in the fridge, but never more than that. This time around, I'm determined to create a stash for more flexibility.

3) We're going to give cloth diapering a try. I hate laundry. HATE it with a passion. But the more I learn about cloth diapers, and the more I think about how much damage we did to the environment when your sister spent 3 years and 9 months of her life in disposable diapers, the more I want to give them a chance. So we're going to! I had to promise your Daddy I would get some "easy" ones for him to use.

So far, those really are the 3 that have come to mind. I'm sure there will be other, smaller ones, but those are 3 I am bound and determined to do differently.

8 weeks

Looking at the image above, I just can't believe how SMALL you still are! But compared to 4 weeks ago, you've grown quite a bit!

8 weeks down, 32 to go. I bet you look like a little Sour Patch Kid in there. Mmm... Sour Patch Kids...

Secrets and lies...

What is the difference between a secret and a lie?
Right now, you are a secret from many people... and I am having to tell little white lies in order for them not to know about you quite yet!

It's hard to believe that 4 weeks ago I had no idea I was expecting you. Actually, quite the opposite, I was 100% convinced that we were "out" once again this month.

I am (im)patiently counting down the days until my first appointment. Only 20 days to go!

We are busy packing things for our move--I've been working on your sister's room the last few days. It's funny to be pulling out the toys she no longer plays with and wondering if they're toys that you will enjoy playing with some day. Especially the character-related ones. By the time you're 2, will you know about Dora, Backyardigans, and Blues Clues, or will there be new characters for me to learn about?

Being pregnant the second time around seems so much different. For starters, I find that I am much more of a worrier. Which is strange, because I don't remember being so paranoid when pregnant with Bebe. Every pinch, pull, or pain makes me wonder if you're OK in there. I hope you are. I pray every day that you are.

The last time I was pregnant was 6 years ago... I think that has to do with it feeling different as well. Not the whole fact that I'm older now, but the fact that I've forgotten all the little details of my pregnancy with Bebe. I do have a journal we made her (don't worry, Daddy and I are working on one for you, too!) that makes some mention of things like when I first started feeling sick, when I first bought some maternity clothes, how we reacted to seeing her on the ultrasound, so that helps... but in so many ways it still feels brand-new.

Oh, Dois, I can't wait to meet you!

7 weeks

"I've got a blueberry for a daughter [or son]!" ~Mr. Beauregard, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

As much as I love you with my entire heart already, could you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make up your mind? The mere thought of putting any food or drink in my mouth makes me nauseated, and at the same time I am starving! I am eating 3 full meals a day, plus at least 3 snacks, and yet my stomach is still rumbling. Oh well, it's a sign that you're growing, so I will live with it.

6 weeks

You're now the same size as your big sister's newest favorite food--lentils!

Our vacation is winding down, and soon we'll be heading home. We'll be unpacking our suitcases and then starting to pack for moving in a few weeks to a new place where you'll have your very own bedroom... but not until you're a few months old.

5 weeks

Well, now you have grown to the size of a sesame seed! We are at Vo's house, having a great time and getting ready to head to the beach tomorrow. I wonder if you'll love the beach the way your Daddy and sister do (they love being in the water, swimming, splashing, playing around) or loving the beach the way I do (relaxing on a blanket, with a book, or some music)... or maybe a little bit of both!

4 weeks

Today I am technically 4 weeks pregnant with you. What a day it has been!
You are currently the size of a poppy seed... it will be fun to see how you grow throughout these next 36 weeks!

Surprise, surprise!

I wanted to surprise your Daddy in some special way, to tell him about your arrival. Several months ago, I got the idea to burn him a CD of songs by his favorite artist, all of which have the word "baby" in the title. I downloaded the songs, burned the CD, created a cover and jacket for the CD case--the whole nine yards--and it had been sitting on the shelf in our closet waiting patiently ever since.

Until tonight.

We are getting ready to go on vacation--2 weeks to your Vo's house. You're already an international travel! Daddy was packing his carry-on and bringing some music for the trip. I told him, "You should pack this." and handed him the CD. He looked at it and said, "Aww, where did you get this?" I told him I made it, and then asked him if he noticed anything the song titles had in common. He said, "Yeah, baby, baby, baby, baby..." I don't think he got it, though. There was a pause, and so I said, "Guess who's having a baby?" and he looked at me and said, "You are? We are? You're pregnant?" and then the tears came. We stood there holding each other for a good 10 minutes, just thanking God for the blessing of you in our lives.

Well, hello there.

It's been 9 years, 8 months, and 19 days since your Daddy and I met for the first time.
It's been 7 years, 11 months, and 10 days since I got an e-mail from him saying, "Do you still remember me?"
It's been 7 years, 2 months, and 25 days since he stepped off of a plane in NY to visit me.
It's been 7 years, 2 months, and 19 days since he asked me in the airport if I would marry him, and I said, "YES!"
It's been 6 years, 8 months, and 7 days since we packed up a rental car with most of my stuff and started our cross-country trip to NY to California, to finally be in the same state.
It's been 6 years, 3 months, and 27 days since that beautiful, sunny Thanksgiving Day when we stood in front of family and friends and promised to love each other for a life time.
It's been 5 years, 6 months, and 20 days since your sister Bebe came into this world.
And now, here we are, the first day of 253 days (or 8 months, 8 days) where we are excitedly awaiting your arrival into this world.

We love you so much already.