17 weeks belly picture

No doubt about it... you're in there! And today I got to feel the first inside/outside kicks--kicks so strong I could feel them with a hand on my abdomen (so I could feel them inside of me and outside of me). So exciting!!

17 weeks

I did NOT forget that I changed weeks today, but for some reason I never got the weekly e-mail I get about this week in pregnancy. Bummer! I do know, though, that these next few weeks are MAJOR in terms of your growth and development--you'll double in size over the next few weeks!

Speaking of doubling in size... I have definitely grown this week. BUT I go through moments of looking bloated and moments of looking deflated. I think I'll be more content once I look pregnant ALL the time. You're still hanging out low and now I notice you are somewhat to my left side... when I look in the mirror straight ahead, I have a different curve to my left side than I do to my right, and I feel "fuller" there. I also don't feel comfortable sleeping on my left side AT ALL... I guess my mind is telling me to give you some space!!

I'm enjoying the moments I get when I listen to your heart beating. I don't listen every single day, but when I do, just hearing your thump-thump-thump relaxes me so much!

I've also started to buy things for you. I tend to be a bargain shopper, so if something is on clearance or there's a good sale, I'll grab it. So far it's been just little things (a navy blue hoodie for $2, an organic sweater-knit blanket for $8, etc.) but they're things you'll need! I've also started making lists of what we'll need for you.

Oh I am so excited!

16 weeks belly picture

I think this time I look bigger! I think I'm going to post the weeks side-by-side to see better.

16 weeks!

Growing, growing, growing... you're growing, growing, growing! 12 weeks (3 months) have passed since we found out we were expecting you. It's been quite a roller coaster lately, but I am SO happy that you're here and still with us. I think I'm starting to feel you move more, although it's very subtle. You're still down very low, just above my pubic bone, which is why I'm not "showing" much yet. Hmmm.... carrying low, symptoms completely different from when I was pregnant with your big sister, heartrate of 144, according to old wives tales, all those things mean "boy." But the Chinese gender chart (which was right for Bebe) says "girl." I guess we will see!

The other day Bebe asked me if the next time we get pictures of you, the doctor can tell us if you're a brother or a sister. I had to explain to her that we want to wait and have a surprise! I think that is tough for her, but we will make it fun--I'm thinking about having her choose a "boy" outfit and a "girl" outfit for when you are born, so that you can wear home whatever she has chosen. I know she'll love that!

We are all so anxiously waiting for you. We love you so much.

Music to my ears!

Despite seeing you moving and hearing your heartbeat last Thursday, I've still been a bit worried about you. My spotting comes and goes, and although I'm feeling more at ease, I still get nervous. So I decided to invest in a home doppler so I could check in on you every now and then. It came today and I was like a kid at Christmas--I couldn't wait to open it and try it!! It took me some time to find your heartbeat, but when I did, I was in heaven! Daddy listened to it, and your big sister listened to it, too (she was so silly--dancing around like it was rock music or something). It was great.

Tonight, while Daddy is at work and after I put Bebe to bed, I pulled it out again and lay on our bed for 30 minutes just listening to the whoosh-woosh-woosh of your heart and talking to you.

I'm seriously on cloud nine!

15 weeks belly picture

There it is! I still don't look pregnant, because you're pretty low still (just above my pubic bone), but I know you're in there! It's just hard telling people how far along I am and them saying, "But you don't even LOOK pregnant!"

15 weeks

I know that I'm a day late writing this, but yesterday was a whirlwind of a day! I had a very full day at work, followed by a doctor's appointment. I was so anxious--I didn't know if I was going to get good news or bad news! When the doctor walked in, she said, "How are you feeling?" I said, "Nervous." She asked why, and I told her about the spotting I had had. So she said, "Let's take a look." and as soon as she put the ultrasound wand on my abdomen, we saw you moving around. I had tears in my eyes--I've never been so relieved! You had your legs crossed (making sure I wouldn't be tempted to ask if you were a boy or a girl, huh?!), and your arms were wiggling. You're measuring a little small now (4 days behind, no big deal), but I think her measurements were off because your legs were crossed. I also heard your heartbeat at a strong 144 bpm. I also got confirmation that the little "bubbles" and "flutters" I feel are in fact YOU!

I can not describe how I felt last night--like I was floating on air. I went in prepared for the worst, and got the best. Praise God!

Then I went home and shared the news with a lot more of my family and friends. Everyone is so excited about your coming--but Daddy, Bebe, and I are the most!!

14 weeks belly picture

Well, here it is! It looks like I shrunk a tad. :-( But I think it's because I took my 13-week belly picture right after dinner. This time I had time to digest.

I confess, I am addicted...

...to finding bargains on cloth diapers and snatching them up!

I am now the proud owner of 6 sized small Fuzzi Bunz diapers! 3 yellow, 1 red, 1 sage, and 1 orange. OMG they are tiny and CUTE!!

14 weeks

So now here we are, Dois, at 14 weeks. This week has been a roller coaster, to say the least... and the roller coaster is continuing, unfortunately. How I wish I could transport myself back to a week ago, when I was on a "high" from telling everyone about you, seeing my belly grow, and starting to imagine our lives with you in the picture.

But now here I sit, just wonder if you're really the size of a lemon in there. Are you still growing? Are you well? I am doing everything in my power to take good care of you, and it's very hard for me to accept that no matter how hard I try, I'm not really the one in control.

I tried with no luck to make my appointment for next week to be sooner... so it will be a long week ahead. I'm hoping and praying that I'll get the chance to post a "15 weeks" post.

I'm never going to take you for granted, Little One. Never. Mommy loves you so much (and Daddy and your big sister do, too!).

Is this what relief is supposed to feel like??

I should be relieved--I haven't seen any more blood, I don't have a UTI. We may never know what caused it the other day... I'm on "pelvic rest" until my next appointment on the 10th, but otherwise my doctor and nurses see no reason for concern. I guess I just need to convince myself of that.

Today on one of the discussion boards I read, someone asked, "So when do you really feel 'safe'?" and my answer was a lot different today than it was on, say, Sunday. I think I'll feel 'safe' when you're here, in my arms, and then even then a whole new bunch of worries will surface. Until 24 weeks (the "age of viability") I'll be worried about a miscarriage... after that, I'll be worried about having a preemie.

I have no idea why things are so different this time around than when I was pregnant with your sister. Maybe I was just so blissfully naive then.

Now the countdown begins until I get to see you and hear your heartbeat again... 8 more days!